Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
