Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Drunk is not a location!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
