Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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