He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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