i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
