what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
