Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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