Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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