U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
