I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize