Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
