At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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