My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
