but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
