Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize