He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
