I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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