Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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