i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
