when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
