If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
