My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
