Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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