My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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