Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
