i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
