he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
