Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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