atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
