it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
