well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
