its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
