census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
