Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
