best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
