You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
