You're so nebulous sometimes
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize