WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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