Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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