Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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