They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
