True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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