Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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