Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Someone shit on the floor
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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