There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he thought i was a dude.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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