He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
