Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize