the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
