i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
