No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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