lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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