I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
they need to just BURY HIM!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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