Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
