I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
