Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
