I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
