I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
