I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
