I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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