so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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