Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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