look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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