***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
