i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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