"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My liver just had a heart attack.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
