My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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