Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
