We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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