I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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