I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize