in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize