Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
