Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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