He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
