I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
