no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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