It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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