Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
