Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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