He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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