hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
