ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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