O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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