i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Someone signed my nipple.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
