Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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